Your landing page walks on stage. Four hecklers are waiting, and they've read every word.

Pick a heckler, hand over your URL, and try not to take it personally. You get about ninety seconds of material on what's actually on your page, voiced by Gradium. Then the real review: what to fix, in what order, and a prompt you can hand straight to your AI.

1Pick your heckler

The Jaded VC

“What's the moat?”

Has sat through ten thousand pitches and funded four. Reads your page like a deck: positioning, pricing, and whether there's a company in there at all.

The Growth Bro

“Let's 10x this. Or not.”

Loves your hero section. Loves it. Then counts the buttons, finds the funnel leaking, and tells you, at volume.

The Creative Director

“Who approved this?”

Has art-directed campaigns you've definitely seen. Notices your kerning before your headline, and doesn't need to raise her voice about either.

The Documentarian

“Observe, in its natural habitat…”

Observes your landing page like a rare animal in the wild. Hushed, reverent, and quietly devastating about your call to action.

2Hand over the URL

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How it works

From URL to public humiliation in about a minute.

01
We read it. All of it.
A real browser loads your page and takes notes on everything: the headline you rewrote nine times, the button that just says “Learn more”, the pricing you hid three scrolls down.
02
We write the set.
Claude studies your screenshot like it owes it money, then writes eight jokes about what’s really there, a score you’ll pretend not to care about, the line your friends will quote back at you, and one fix that genuinely helps.
03
We say it out loud.
Gradium gives your heckler a voice, the captions keep up word for word, and a spotlight follows every joke to the exact thing it’s about. There’s nowhere to hide. That’s the point.

House rules

We roast pages, not people.

Your headline is fair game. Your face isn't. No jokes about looks, bodies, names, or anything you can't fix with a deploy, and no swearing: the material doesn't need it. Adult, hateful, or shady pages get a polite no. We only look at public pages, and if you'd rather it never happened, every roast has a remove link.